Resting in God, just rolling with life has not been something I have done. Instead anxiety, stress, control, and anger have consumed me and made an already frustrating time even harder. There has been no peace.
The breaking point came last week as our car sat smoking outside the main gate. Why could our life not be easy? What was God hoping to accomplish by giving me so much more than I can handle?
And that's when His voice was heard. "Give it to me." That's it.
This pressure and stress was not from Him. My need for a carefully ordered, controlled life had made me try to carry all of the burdens on my own and try to fix them under my own strength. And no matter how hard I try I can't "fix" our life right now. So, it was decision time......rest and trust in Him or me. I chose Him.
With that sweet release of just letting God be God again there was peace. Life is still crazy and there are still serious issues to be dealt with this next week, but God is good. He will carry me and my burdens. I need not go alone. Ever.